Sunday, December 25, 2005
Low society at it´s highest! Karl
Thursday, December 22, 2005
it's that time of year again. Consumerism, Cholesterol and Christianity at its highest. The big fat man is coming down the chimney only to dissapoint you with another tie you never wanted.
However, these things only highlight to me what X-mas is about for myself. For me it's a time to return to home and meet up with large chunks of my family. This happens too rarely for my liking, but it always happen for X-mas, with some exceptions. Also, this is the time I catch up with some friends from high school, since we never bother otherwise. Personally, I never do traditional decorations, though I appreciate them, and at home I can enjoy really good food and a nice X-mas vibe, without the hassle.
Be nice to children, pets and wild animals!
Now listen here von Helvete and listen close, for this is a cautionary tale from the golden age of Pamparius, where the Apocalypse Dudes are in a mad rush to get it on in a self destructo bust kind of way! Warning: This story contains a dazzling display of talent but also the mortal ring of deathtime. Read on.
As you are aware, it is well known that Turbonegro hate the kids, calling them a bunch of hobbit motherfuckers and screaming at them ‘imorgen skal eg daue’ and all that. However, they too have their enemies, as Raggare are obviously a bunch of motherfuckers who thought that Turbonegro must be destroyed. This caused a war between the Party Animals, which left the Scandinavian leather on the Le Saboteurs drenched in blood, with just flesh being flung everywhere. Horrible.
Now that all my friends from the city of Satan are dead, after getting wasted again and high on the crime, I guess you, Karl, are the only one left to blow me like the wind and then wipe it ‘til it bleeds eh? And by the way, if you see Kaye in the aftermath of this war ravaged land- tell her that I love her and to please stay free, because death from above is not as pleasant as hot stuff, or hot shit for that matter.
But I’m not worried about you remaining untamed Karl, because I know you can always keep your good head in a mobile home. That’s as long as I give you just a minute while you fuck the world! Even though I wanted everything on the train of flesh, I still need your permission to gimme some. Sigh. I suppose I just have to sell my body to the night to get you to ride with us….
The streets are no longer safe. So lastly, to you my sailor man friend, I give you my final warning. Are you ready for some darkness, or to go back to dungaree high? Or perhaps you have already had a rendezvous with anus and ended up in Babylon forever? No? Well then keep listening to that monkey on your back my friend; otherwise you'll end up down humiliation street where you will meet the unholy trinity of the Denim Demon, the Midnight NAMBLA, and the truly terrifying Prince Of The Rodeo. So if you want to see this tri-ology of bad Mongo’s get locked down in the blizzard of flames, it is best to have the Zillion Dollar Sadist and the mighty Black Rabbit by your side at ALL TIMES.
And remember- don’t say motherfucker motherfucker, because these three Ass Cobras have definitely got erection and when provoked, totally rock against ass!
Disclaimer: The information in this letter, together with any attachments, contains every song title from the last 4 Turbonegro recordings- Ass Cobra, Apocalypse Dudes, Scandinavian Leather and Party Animals. If you have received this letter in error then I need to be shot since I gave it to you fucking personally. You must print off, copy, use and disclose its contents to whomever the fuck you want really. The views expressed are totally personal to the sender (that’s me, stupid fuck) and should not be taken as necessarily representing the views of Turbonegro at all (although I’m sure they would love the sentiment). Any laughter, chuckling or even mirth, gained by reading its content is purely coincidental. It is your responsibility to carry out all necessary virus checks, especially for herpes, which I heard Hank got from a new wave hooker girl.
Oh and merry fucking Christmas you crazy motherfucker!!!
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Sometimes you just gotta be a lucky number 7. When I started this run Lasse cheered me on with: "Agressive start, I love it!" At the point of the photo I am about to do the third turn with a heelside to frontside turn (goofy) and as you can see it's a wide one, really carving it up. I continue down in the bowl like a bat out of hell, but when I come to a standstill there are boulders inches under the fresh snow. Heart's beating, blood's pumping, mouth's smiling and brain's thinking "You lucky duck, can I have some more?".
Saturday, December 17, 2005
I bet you do! Just being able to anything you want. At the moment I am contemplating Australia, since I was back in the flat where I used to hang out with Princess. Maybe I should just bust a move, if it was entirely up to me, which it is, I would. However, I am not sure she would concur.
Should I stay or go! Karl
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Anyway, now I am back in Oxford and in my untidy apartment, some of you know just how untidy it can be, and yes it is. Tomorrow I am of to a dinner party which should be good fun!!
Stay insane Karl
Sunday, December 11, 2005
Saturday, December 10, 2005
- The guys in one of my favourite bands were playing in Oxford and all came to greet me. Thanks Failsafe (check 'em out or loose out)!!
- My car was not delivering the 180 hp, so I had to drive along the M1, M25 and M40 doing 42,5 mph (which was amazingly quickening).
- Had the bestest day ever riding powder in France yesterday, keeping my on a high all day. Quote of yesterday: "It's a rental, don't be gentle".
Apart from that nothing is new under the sun and once again spaceboy is at home. Stay tuned for some more hardcore action.
PS Does any one know why the police is giving me the silent treatment. Are my bribes finally paying off?
PSS Thanks for your card princess, give me a call when ever you have the time. We should talk!
PSSS Give me just a minute, while I fuck the world (and yes, I've got an erection)!
Friday, December 02, 2005
Stay friendly and loving to one another (including pets as well as dogs and the odd human). Post a greeting since I will be turning 32 next time I log. I am a sucker for stuff like that. Additionally , please feel free to donate a token (or more) gift to your local earthquake relief as the people in Kashmir are dying in droves as I write this (support the unexploited parts of the world, so we will have something left to exploit).
Thursday, December 01, 2005
So I drove straigt into Camden, which is central London. My eyes were totally wired since I've never been driving there before. Got a park and had a small chat with a friendly parking warden. Then I had some noodles while waiting for the Brainiac to arrive, which he did. After his long awaited arrival we entered the club through a block of queues. If you've never been to Koko's before. I got a few words for you. Go! Ops that's just one word, ehe. Sorry (even though it's meaningless). It's like this old theatre with heaps of balconies and booths, all painted in decandent red whit chaneliers and stuff, plus this huge disco ball three stories up.
Juliett and the Licks, was alright for a starter. Matt pinched her bum as she crowd surfed past us. Legend has it that her buns are firm, and Brainiac is now in a postion to confirm this firmness! To me it was like watching an angry vegan chick in aerobics class doing some alright rock and roll with a dash of hip hop.
Then Turbonegro went on and the place just went mad! Maaaad, I tell you, Maaaad! The songs were as usual fantastic. In between them Hanks informed us the the Trafalgar square X-mas tree is a gift from the Norwegean Sailors as a thank you for all male and femal British prostitutes. Because there is only one thing that the English does well and that is to sell their bodies! Tehn the played, yeah that's right, Sell you body! At this point Matt sends me crowd surfing. There's a first for every 31 year old. Hank then states that the band gets a hard time for not being politically correct, but if there is one thing they it is political and damn correct as well, after which he spreads the ashes of departured fotballer George Best. It's only crap and cigarett butts, since Best drank himself through two livers before dying. Once the ashes are spread he sprays the crowd with beer, according to Best's instructions with a personal message from Best: "Don't just get wasted, get wasted again!" And then the show continues with, yupp that's right Brainiac, Wasted Again.
After to encores, they leave us dancing around to a Zorba, after which I discover a lone shoe, which after a couple of test runs, turns out to be a cindorella's. After a kiss, she whispers that I am very cute (in Swedish, she's english though!). At this point Matt picks up the shoe and swings it in my face, which causes a permanent communication break down and we plant the shoe back on the floor where we found it, and got the fuck out of Koko's.
Well, that's about it, and yes, I will try to get a life!