Let's go to hell

I am currently drifting through life, without knowing where to go. Too many degrees of freedom I say, I do not know where to go to lead a happy life. However, that’s a contradiction it would seem, because, my mind is not set up to be happy. It is consistently trying to improve on the present. It’s in our genes so to speak. As a species, we were never meant to be happy.

All this time, I’ve been chasing an illusion, a non-existent oasis. Funnily enough this does not make me relax. It stresses me out even more than the search did. If can’t be happy where do you go now then, my brain keeps churning over and over like a mad man’s brain.

So maybe I am mad and ought to be sectioned, but I guess I am ever so elusive to the men in white. I am wearing the normality of an abnormal with such a grace that they do not even get what’s moving around in my head. A bit of paranoia, an obsession with happiness, abnormal fear of being lonely plus an inferiority complex, I wonder how much I can charge the NHS for my own diagnosis.

Let's go! Karl